Sir-Text-A-Lot

Sir Text-A-Lot

It starts with the infamous "Good Morning" text with a smiley face. Followed by countless back and forth messages "How's your day going?" "What's for lunch?" blah blah blah. By the evening it's "WYD", "How was work?" All of this followed by my favorite, "Good night beautiful!" signed, sealed, and delivered with the kissing emoji. This is communication while dating in 2017!

I get it, texting is a convenient mode of communication- it's quick, can be done in almost any setting, and keeps you FEELING connected. But are you really connecting? What happened to the daily phone calls?! 

Oh yeah...you're too busy- you have deadlines at work, grad school, a long commute, training for the half marathon, chapter meeting, and happy hour. So you substitute the phone conversations with countless text throughout the day--keeping in touch. This is classic Sir Text-A-Lot. 

Please note, this does not discredit the amazing times you have in person. Weekends are filled with fun outings, binge watching your favorite show, side note: every couple needs “their show.” You know the show that you only watch together and you’re not allowed to go ahead of the episode you last saw with you boo.

So what's wrong with Sir Text-A-Lot, absolutely nothing and definitely everything. 

For some ladies, Sir Text-A-Lot provides the desire of constant communication. They feel like they are getting a play by play of bae's day. They know that their train was delayed at 14th St., they get a picture of their burrito bowl from lunch, a screen shot of a funny meme from IG, a summary of their work day, and a preview of what "day" it is at the gym-#legday. After Sir Text-A-Lot gets home, he eats dinner, jumps in the shower, and gets in some entertainment- Sports Center, Narcos, The Walking Dead. He then texts her "Good night beautiful" with a kissing face, checks his social media pages one more time and then he's off to bed. He hasn't heard her voice all day.

He feels confident that he's connected with her because he can give a summary of her day. He checks in- he knows she is struggling with day three of her JJ Smith Green Smoothie Cleanse. He gets a dressing room pic from when she went to Zara on her lunch break looking for a dress for the wedding she's attending next weekend--of course she gets a heart eyes smiley face in return. He knows that her annoying co-worker asked her to buy a phone case for her using her Amazon Prime account to get free shipping. Sir Text-A-Lots do well with ladies who love constant contact. #constantcontact

Jonesin’

Then there are ladies who enjoy jonesin', these ladies look forward to PHONE CALLS. She appreciates a wake up call, a quick convo on your lunch break, and loves pillow talk at night.  Now don’t get me wrong, these ladies are fine with a text here or there, however, she’s not into long text messages as a substitute for actually talking. She checks in from time to time, but saves the narrative for your next phone call.  For her, she would find a Sir Text-A- Lot frustrating; he would not provide the intimacy that she seeks--emotional intimacy that is!

So what’s a girl to do?!

-Call him. If you want to talk...TALK! Initiate conversations, yes that would mean picking up the phone and calling him.  People don't talk on the phone anymore; he may not be calling because you're not calling.  He likely doesn't know it’s something you desire--no one reads minds.

-Make it good. When you do talk, engage in good conversation; more than just a play by play of your day. Stimulate his mind. Maybe even FaceTime your boo!

-Know your man-Recognize where he’s coming from. Life is busy, especially if he's an ambitious, young professional. These men are always on the move and talking on the phone for an hour is a challenge.  He works through lunch, has jammed packed evenings, and goes home to do more grinding.  What these men do not mind, is face to face connections. Meet him at the happy hour. Go running with him, don’t worry, edge control will get you back laid and slayed for work in the morning.

Dating can be the STRUGGLE. However, the bliss of finding someone you vibe with makes it worth it. If you’re vibin’, don’t throw away Sir-Text-A-Lot, figure out a way to create the connection you want and need.

-Skyra